Friday, 10 October 2008

Global recession due to FT Horoscope

Mystic Alistair, renowned for his supernatural eyebrows and spookily acurate predictions on the economy, gives readers advice for the coming week.
Aries March 21-April 19
Sell, sell sell!
Libra September 23-October 22
Pension? What pension?
Taurus April 20-May 20
Get out of there now!
Scorpio October 23 - November 21
The window’s open. Geronimo!
Gemini May 21-June 21
Dump it all for Christ’s sake!
Sagittarius November 22-December 21
Put what’s left on the donkey.
Cancer June 22-July 22
Too late. You’re history
Capricorn December 22-January 19
Sell the kids for medical research
Leo July 23-August 22
Put it under the floor boards!
Aquarius January 20-February 18
Get used to beans
Virgo August 23-September 22
Virgos look good in rags
Pisces February 19-March 20
That’s enough horoscopes- ed


dNo said...

oh thanks, stop at Pisces. Now i have no idea what to do with my shares...

Rt Hon A. Darling said...

dno, we're all DOOMED! I'm off to Tristan de Cunha where the official currency is the potato. (But don't tell Gordon)