Sunday, 8 March 2009

Viz and the Cabinet

It's one of the key issues of our time, yet one which the so-called serious press has been nervously side-stepping - which Viz characters do members of the Cabinet most resemble? And after some in depth research and analysis, JMP is able to provide some answers.

Harriet Harman is easy. The humourless harridan is 85% Millie Tant; and after recent performances of pathological, transparent mendacity ('Goodwin got his knighthood for services to the Princes Trust'; 'women are suffering more than men in the recession') she must also be counted 15% Aldridge "he's a hopeless liar" Prior.

David Miliband is also relatively easy. The banana-holding schoolboy Foreign Secretary is a 60% Mr Logic and 40% Student Grant.

Ed Balls is, clearly, Finbarr Saunders.

Andy Burnham, quite possibly the biggest knob in the Cabinet against stiff (fnarr fnarr) competition is Terry Fuckwit.

Jacqui Smith is Tracey Tunstall, Fat Slag, of course.

Jack Straw reminds me irrestistably of Playtime Fonteyn.

And Alistair Darling must be one of the Vibrating Bum-Faced Goats.

Any other suggestions welcomed.

Update: dNo nails Tony Blair in the comments as a cross between the Modern Parents and Aldridge Prior.


Daf said...

Do you remember Robot Space Nun?

It's Caroline Flint (woof).

And former member John Prescott was clearly Biffa Bacon.

dNo said...

I was going to suggest Prezza more as Roger Mellie...
Peter Mandelson as Felix and his amazing underpants... for no real reason. Probably more like Terry Ratchett who had a machine to fix everything...
And Aldridge Prior crossed with the Modern Parents must be Tony Blair?

Jonny Mac said...

Caroline Flint has just as strong a claim to be Nude Motorcycle Girl (down boy).