Cocktail hour

Hans, JMP's resident mixologist, has been gripped by Smeargate like all of us, and particularly by the weird dynamic of the would-be-foppish Dolly, and the unambiguously thuggish McBride. As such, when thinking about the cocktail to cover M in his famous cocktail A to Z Challenge earlier today while listening to the morning service on Radio 4 Longwave, he whimsically offered, from his cane bathchair in the conservatory, the 'McBride', comprising one measure of bile and one of testosterone. It is in a similar mood that he tells me now that the week's cocktail is the genuine Mother-in-law, which is stout and bitter*. Geddit? Pouring half a pint of each into a pint glass is the only preparation required, though some say pork scratchings as an accompaniment are absolutely essential. The Coronation Street theme music playing in the background also helps. Hans assures me that non-beer-based cocktails will return next week.

*Both my lawyers and my conscience require me to add that my m-i-l is neither. Hans doesn't have a m-i-l; he is 'not the marrying sort'.