Mystic Alistair, renowned for his supernatural eyebrows and spookily acurate predictions on the economy, gives readers advice for the coming week.
Aries March 21-April 19
Sell, sell sell!
Libra September 23-October 22
Pension? What pension?
Taurus April 20-May 20
Get out of there now!
Scorpio October 23 - November 21
The window’s open. Geronimo!
Gemini May 21-June 21
Dump it all for Christ’s sake!
Sagittarius November 22-December 21
Put what’s left on the donkey.
Cancer June 22-July 22
Too late. You’re history
Capricorn December 22-January 19
Sell the kids for medical research
Leo July 23-August 22
Put it under the floor boards!
Aquarius January 20-February 18
Get used to beans
Virgo August 23-September 22
Virgos look good in rags
Pisces February 19-March 20
That’s enough horoscopes- ed
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2 comments:
oh thanks, stop at Pisces. Now i have no idea what to do with my shares...
dno, we're all DOOMED! I'm off to Tristan de Cunha where the official currency is the potato. (But don't tell Gordon)
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